Love murder

Whenever me and my women fuck
for the last time
it is really a brutal one
(as in "brutalizing")
like gore or a horror

With Shannon
she had come up
and we sat shooting the breeze, laughing
and smoking a joint

We train wrecked for
three or so years and the
fucking thing still hadn't
pulled into the station.
When we fucked I was
massive looming over her,
her light moans becoming
deeper and her breathing,
staring had a resonance
I am big and did full
strokes, time warped by the
weed.

Yasmine wanted a wreck
from the get go.
The train hadn't even boarded
yet and she wanted it blow
sky high
I can't even remember the
sex from our first time,
just her saying, "slap me,
slap me, slap me.
Slap my face."

Sofia could always handle all of
me in bed.
I think her body was particularly
responsive to me, because
I am big.
Some people are born to
love sex and she's one of
them.
In our last fuck
she grabbed my hand and
moved it up to her throat.
"Squeeze," she said as her
eyes tried to be mine.
With the other hand she pushed
my fingers down her throat
and sucked long pulls
closing her eyes.

I never had a fetish for
this kind of thing.
I just became a little
less nervous about it when
I heard those long moans.
It was like murder they
all wanted. 

"Will you hold me?
Or do you want me
to leave?"

"I never want you
to leave,"
she said,
confused.

Redemption

From my window
a rolling crescendo
of cars passing
and swinging feathers
twirling lazily
in the breeze.
The burning heat in
this small room
is a compliment
for all my shallow sins
today and all my days before.

Backwards meditation

If I could choose I would sit in my room all day
alone on uppers drinking coffee writing reading for a
very very long time

Making sense of my reality

By making it very

very

small

Thanks for nothing

"You know, we should really call Trevor,"
she said righteously.
"He should be out with us right now."

"Why?"
I said because I knew she didn't like Trevor.

In fact, I know she didn't really like anybody.

"Well I don't think he's made many friends since
he moved up.
So we should call him."

"I'm going home,"
I said, finishing my beer.

"Why?!"she said.
I had offended her.

"I don't want to watch this bullshit play out,"
and I left with their eyes on my back.

"He's such an asshole sometimes."

I guess I really just missed a chance to tell
them they weren't being saviors.
And even if they were
that disgusts me.

Pity and love

I get so sad when I see
the tender hearted women
look at me with angel eyes
knowing.
Before they leave
they tell me,
"I love you, baby."

"Please!" I cry to them

Let me in
Let me take your eyes
Just to see me
Like you see me

Afternoon bath

A hot bath
salty with afternoon
sweat
sits and smells
like all baths
salty and sitting
it drains slowly
through
and when the
water is gone
I am no
longer heavy
In fact, it
feels like I
am floating